I so much want to be okay.

But I am guessing not today.

Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

Right now, I just need a big, long hug.

I would use it as a drug.

Right now, the torture comes from the voices.

Telling me all my ugliness and terrible choices.

Darkness is overtaking things again.

The pain of it is like an out-of-control train.

These feelings I feel so deeply.

It is like I cannot think completely.

I am holding on Lord; I am holding on.

But for right now things I have withdrawn.

God isn’t done with me yet.

I believe this, that joy I will get.

All I need to do is kneel.

Because God will heal.